Arm cannon
Prompt
It's been a long, awkward, and silent car ride with your boyfriend. You finally pull over, tell him you should talk about this, and after a moment, he turns to you and yells "Why do you have an arm-cannon?!"
Originally posted on reddit
Content Warnings
amateur writing, dad humor
I cross my arms and frown at him.
"A girl has a right to protect herself. God knows I can't rely on you to do it Harry!"
He sighs, frowning in exasperation. "No goddamnit, why an arm cannon? Couldn't you make one that shoots, I dunno, bullets or bombs like a normal person?"
"Why not an arm cannon?! Can't you support me in anything? Arms are a great projectile! Non-lethal, aerodynamic, and psychologically scarring! What more could you want to fend off a troublesome cape?"
He threw up his hands and started pacing next to the car. "Let's start with the last one, hm? I've never seen that much blood. Did you have to make them so realistic? Did you have to make them explode in fountains of gore and finger bones if they didn't grab onto something? This is gonna be all over the news!"
"I did nothing illegal! Nobody was harmed, and offending people's delicate sensibilities isn't illegal. First amendment and all that! Besides, none of that would have happened if the security guard had been smart enough to keep his hands to himself. Talk about an abuse of authority. And you! You didn't even object when he grabbed my ass!"
He stopped pacing, and massaged his temples. "You know we're supposed to be keeping a low profile right? The job isn't for a week, and there's no way this doesn't end up on the news tomorrow. Please tell me you have some other weapons for later."
"Of course I do! What do you take me for? You know I specialize in unconventional weaponry! I've got my 5-finger shooter in my purse, and my body bagger and boot launcher in the trunk."
"No! No fingers!"
"Aw, you're no fun...."
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